PrisonPenPals ~ Platinum Ads

Greetings and respects, before reading further stop and ask yourself what kind of a guy it is your looking for behind bars and when you have a clear mental picture then continue on and with any luck I'll fall into the category of men you're looking for but trust me when I say this when you have a vision of who you're looking for never let go of that vision never ever under any circumstances except anybody less than who you envision because in the end if things don't work out then hearts are torn asunder emotions become raw and with each bad experience or failure we become a little more jaded and pessimistic when it comes to finding pen pals for friends or I'll go a step further even finding love, we do ourselves a great disservice when we settle for something else because we quit dreaming or feel desperate and just want the loneliness to end. When that occurs you spend 5 or even 10 years trying to make it work or trying to turn someone into who you envision meeting and that never works it only leads to resentment, falsities and broken spirits.

These words do not come from a bad experience but from deeply thinking about this all before I put myself on the website's ad and waste anyone's time or play with anyone's emotions. Matters of the heart are not to be taken lightly.

Friendships like I have and nourish are life long bands that I remain loyal to a fault and faithful as a dog in relationships. So if someone enters my life with plans to exit or treat me like a novelty, keep in mind I get serious abandonment issues as does everyone who's done as much time as I.

In the last 27 years every family member has disowned me. Long time friends tend to fall off and it's due to out of sight out of mind. And our hardships in prison take their toll on friends and family who support us Mentally and emotionally. It traumatizes them, till they just have no choice but to disappear from our lives. Sad but very true, wives realize they shouldn’t have to be shackled and in prison too, so they leave. Kids are poisoned on what to think of a father locked up and become scared or ashamed. Paint is for most of us our pen pals become our families and friends our loved ones. And I for one value everyone's time who tries to get to know me as I hope they value mine cause I'm a letter writing fool. 20 page letters are normal. That's 5 hours of writing, 5 hours of digging deep and exposing who I am and with any luck all the hours, day in and day out, will enrich your lives as much as mine.

I've learned I found the greatest appreciation for my shity life in here, full of violence, misery, torment, suffering, loneliness, fear, hate, loss and hunger, always a deep hunger that's never satisfied.

My appreciation comes strong when I learn of other people's lives who are worse than mine. I don't ever want someone's time to be filled with pity but appreciation and a lesson that even then the worst times in here and trust me these have been bad ones. Thru the worst times when I'm close to giving up I tell myself “Then your mistakes will have been in vain nothing good comes from em” or I try to share my experiences and build an understanding of who I am not by what I do or have done but by what I've learned from it and how I can pass that on to others to help them prevent them from following in my footsteps.

My goal is to start an outreach for kids from troubled past facing incarceration or addiction to drugs or in gangs. Not a religious outreach but ol school convicts in prison who are of like mind as I am on helping kids stay out of prison, out of gangs, off drugs, away from crime. And have prisoners sponsor thru mail (pen pals) these kids. But how do I orchestrate that from in here with no outside support. I've been on my own all my life it seems but I push people away a lot. So I have no one to blame but myself.

My girlfriend died of a heroin overdose 22 months ago. This was our dream but without her it seems impossible to achieve. So I work on my other goals and dreams.

I'm a prolific writer when inspired. I wrote a few books and poetry books that have yet to be published. == Love writing to express the riot of emotions that threaten to explode otherwise.

Anyways about me. My name's Thunder and I've been down 22 years starting, 27 total. 15 in isolation. Armed robberies (9) counts 26 years. I picked up 14 years for attempted murder of a prison guard then I got the death penalty for a institutional murder. Currently in San Quentin, CA.

I have a violent history as I sit at the top of the food chain but my heart is pure and true and I must admit I'm a great guy nowadays, lots of soul searching and changing and growing. And overcoming indistinctions and institutionalization. I'm great in relationships, it’s my pricefull moment and I love kids probably cause they love me. I'll never accept money or mandatory stuff as that is a big divider between penpals and prisoners. I got my hustle on in here and in fact gave most of my money away. I need for nothing. Actually == live like a king compared to others. But it cost me 15 years in isolation gaining this life. I'm 5’ 10, 200 pounds, green eyes change blue, tons of tattoos, alpha male.

I'm looking for friends and people to lose myself with. I'm open to love but not looking for it mainly because I don't ever want to shackle up my girl to me in prison again. It's not fair to them. But I won't lie, I want to love again like I loved my girl before she died. That tore my soul in half and crushed me. It's so f****** lonely in here though. Unlike what I said in the beginning I have no image or standard of what or who I'm looking for cause nowadays I have an open mind and besides my ideas landed me in here. The only standards I have are sincerity, honesty, no games, no bullshit, no lies.

If I'm to like you let it be your true self and not a front that can be seen past easily.

For more info on me you'll have to write. I like phone calls and visits too.
Peace

Kenneth Nowlin T60415
1-EY-53 Death Roll
San Quentin, CA 94974